All because I chose to accept whatever consequences there were to express myself. I still have a problem with tomato sauce, but most of my stomach and digestive issues are now gone.
The more I expressed, the better I felt.Īnd soon, the pain and acidity were nearly gone. But I also knew that if I kept it in, it would only fester and get worse inside of me. So I continued, knowing that she wasn’t going to like everything I had to say. So the first time I expressed my true thoughts and emotions to my wife, I immediately felt relief in my stomach.Īnd the second time I expressed myself, it happened again. At least, that was my childhood belief kicking in. I “knew” that it was dangerous to express myself because doing so would incite my drunk stepfather’s aggression.
There is no benefit to avoiding confrontation unless you fear getting physically injured.īut, I avoided confrontation all my life. This was one of the most difficult steps I’ve ever taken in a relationship because I always believed it was better to avoid confrontation. I chose to share with my wife what I was feeling and whatever emotions came up in me. So I made the choice to start expressing no matter what the consequences.
And because I also felt like I couldn’t speak up and express myself (out of fear of retaliation), I held in my true thoughts and emotions.Īnd soon, I had more acid in my stomach than I could handle. This activated old triggers in me where I felt unloved and neglected. I felt like she would rather be with food than me. I took my childhood beliefs into my marriage and didn’t understand how she could really love me if every time she was stressed she ate junk food. When he drank, I felt like he didn’t love me. I didn’t say those exact words at the time, but looking back, that’s how I felt. After all, ‘if he loved me, he wouldn’t drink’. Whenever he reached for a drink, I “knew” he didn’t love me. This dysfunction in me stemmed from living with an alcoholic stepfather for almost 20 years. I took it as if she relied on food to fulfill her emotional needs instead of me. I already knew where most of the anger derived: I had a problem with my wife eating junk food.Īt the time, I was emotionally triggered by her junk food addiction so whenever she reached for it, I took it personally. Do I take more antacids and just live with the problem, or do I start expressing my anger even though it could lead to some unpleasant conversations? So I had to make a serious decision to do something about my stomach issues. But I made a connection that indeed, when I got angry, and I didn’t express that anger, my stomach hurt! I noticed that when I swallowed anger, my stomach would hurt.Īt the time, I thought it was silly to think that emotions led to physical ailments. I became a micro-manager of both my diet and my daily habits, just to figure out exactly when the acid appeared.Īfter a few weeks, I noticed a trend. I decided to take control of my life and figure out why it was coming back. I was thinking that I’d have to eat antacids for the rest of my life! My breath was bad and I couldn’t eat the food I loved anymore. I took it for two months and the problem disappeared! I was shocked because I simply didn’t have the issue anymore. I was completely skeptical, but I decided to try it anyway. He said, “Well, for some reason, after taking it for two months, the body adjusts and no longer has the problem.” I was like, “Yeah, then what? I can’t just take antacids whenever this happens, is there a cure?” He told me to take Prevacid for two months then stop. The problem got worse and worse, so I decided to see a doctor. My stomach would burn after I ate anything with tomato sauce, onions, or garlic. Marianne Williamson said, “ Allopathic doctors used to laugh condescendingly at those who posited that psychological, emotional and spiritual factors were important contributors to the sickness as well as healing of the body.”Īfter I got married, I developed stomach issues.
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